Meet Papa Delancy
by Swimming Poole
Summary: Well I'll be, Oscar and Morris's dad is coming to visit. Looks like the newsies and the Delancy Bros. need to get along for this one,or else Weasel's in trouble!
1. Weasel Recieves the News

Meet Papa Delancy

"Rringgg" went the phone, but Weasel was, as usual, too busy taunting the newsies while they received their papers to answer it immediately. He managed to pick up after the 3rd ring. "Yes?" started Weasel. "Hey there brother in law" answered a gruff sounding voice on the other line. "Oh, he he, heya Mor..." stuttered a nervous Weasel, he knew who it was.  
"Can it Wisel! I'm coming to Manhattan to visit my boys this weekend to see how they're doing helping you out at work, I hope that they ARE doing good, right?" explained the other voice. "Oh yes," Fibbed Weasel as he shuddered when he saw Oscar and Morris enter the booth with bandages over their noses. "They're doing REAL good."

He knew that they and the Newsies had issues with each other, and that sure wouldn't please Weasel's caller. "I'll arrive there tomorrow, AND I expect to see my boys in a PERFECT environment. 'Bye now." Weasel hung up the phone.

'Oh lord; I can't let my brother in law see them like THIS. He'll bust me up for good!' Weasel thought. Then he noticed that someone was calling his name, it was Jack. "I axed fer me papes, but I didn't get nuttin'. What's 'da deal?" he asked. Weasel hated the idea, but he was desparate. "Cowboy, I really hate to say this, but... I NEED YOUR HELP!" loudly sobbed Weasel. "Say What?" instantly responded Jack. He couldn't believe his ears, the man who helped give him and his crew a hard time during the strike actually needed his help. Then Davey approached them. "What's the matter with Weasel?' asked Davey. "Wouldn't ya know it, ol' Weas needs me help" answered Jack. "It's my brother in law..." explained Weasel. "He's coming to Manhattan tomorrow to visit Oscar and Morris, and expects everything to be perfect. You guys both know that it ain't." "So, what do you need us for?" replied Dave.

At that moment, Oscar and Morris came over to the conversation. "Hey Uncle Weeze, what's goin' on 'bout our dad?" they asked simultaneously. "Boys, your dad's coming here tomorrow and expects not to see you like this" said Weasel. "So I'm guessing you'll all need to make it like you're all good friends." Jack, David and the Delancy Bros. began to gag at the idea.

"Dis is goin' ta be one messed up fan fic Davey…" Said Jack.  
To be continued...


	2. Practicing is Disasterous

Later that day, Weasel had all the boys gather together to work the whole thing out.

"Ok ya' twerps-GAH!-I mean boys," began Weasel. "Since Oscar and Morris's dad wants to see a perfect environment, we all need to make everything clean. That means we all need to clean up, get our acts together, and get along like if we were a big happy family. Got it?"

"But we can't do dat," whined Snipeshooter. "dose Delancys ain't no family to us." "Sorry Snipes, but we got to" said Les. "My brother told me everything." "Ok boys" Weasel exclaimed, "let's get started."

"The 1st thing we got to practice is our dialogue. If we want to impress Mr. Delancy, you brats need to NOT act like brats and get along like good friends" explained Weasel. The other Newsies gagged like Jack, David, and the Delancy Bros. did before. "My sentiments exactly, but we gots ta'" said Jack. "Correct wise guy, so why don't you be the 1st to demonstrate how we should all act. C'mon up Morris."

Morris and Jack stared each other directly in the eyes when they got up. They contemplated starting another one of their infamous squabbles, but ol' Weazy had to hold them back. "Ey ey! I said no fighting; we're supposed to get along, remember?"

"Ok fine." Said Morris. "Good, so cowboy, why don't you say something nice to Morris?" "Ok. Morris…" Jack began, "you look like a million bucks wit all dat doity facial hair." "Whaddya say to me?" scowled Morris. "Seriously man, ya look like a real "gentleman"" taunted Jack, pulling down one of his eyelids like one of those anime characters and sticking his tongue out. Morris was getting really pissed off at that point. He began to lunge at Jack, but landed on his face when Jack moved out of the way. The Newsies began to laugh uncontrollably. Weasel watched all this and sighed to himself. 'This is going to be tougher than I thought' he thought to himself.

Practicing table manners weren't any better. Racetrack refused to let go of his cigar even when he was told Mr. Delancy thinks smoking is evil and that he shall not smoke even one cigar during his visit. "C'mon yer honah', what's wrong wit seein' at least one devil from hell at da table?" said Race. And you should've seen them practicing their eating: all the little kids were throwing their mashed potatoes, Pie Eater slammed his face into the cherry pie (hence the name "Pie Eater"), and Oscar didn't bother using his napkin. Looks like Weasel was right, this WAS going to be tougher than he thought.


	3. The Crew gets Ready

Like Mr. Delancy said, he was coming the next day, and the Newsies the Delancy bros. haven't much improved much since they began practicing their manners. Weasel decided it would be more of a small improvement if he saw them in their nice clothes.

"Hey, wheah's Jack?" asked Race while the gang was all gathered, wearing their nice outfits they wore during the rally (they still couldn't get the brutal ass-whippings out of their minds though). "I think he said ol' Weez was gonna give him some 'special' clothes fer this." Kid Blink responded.

That's when they saw Jack walk in with his 'special' outfit, and there a certain Spot Conlon quote came to their heads: "Tell me I'm seein' things, just tell me I'm seein' things." That's right, Jack was wearing the suit he wore when he temporarily became a scab for Mr. Pullitzer (they couldn't get the bitter shock out of that either)! "Oh man, any suit would be better than 'TAT!" Kid Blink moaned. "Sorry guys, Weasel wanted me ta weah dis since I'm da leaduh of yous' guys." David stood up for him. "Jack's right," he began to exclaim, "remember, Mr. Delancy wanted everything PERFECT..."

"Yeah yeah, blah blah blah, WHATEVER!" interrupted Boots. "Hey! Don't interrupt my brother!" shouted Les. Soon everyone was arguing like an episode of Jerry Springer, which is until a pair of spruced up Delancys banged a pot to get everyone's attention. "Whoa, dey looks even dumber den you do Jack" said Mush. Oscar had his hair combed with a cummerbund while Morris had even more major refurbishments (everyone knew how filthy he is compared to the much cleaner-cut Oscar).

"We're not in the mood for a fight, so don't start" said Oscar. For once, Jack actually agreed with Oscar. "Yer right. I mean look ya guys, we ain't gonna get visited by Pullitzah or da Mayuh or anyone like dat. We're gettin visited by THEAH fadduh" said Jack, pointing to the Delancys. "It seems dey don't see theah fadduh much, so we shall make dis da best visit he evah had...aw somthin' similar ta dat." "So I guess you have an idea then, right?" replied David. "Yes, but we'll have to wait until the next exciting chapter of 'MEET...PAPA...DELANCY'!" said Jack in a weird announcer-like voice. "Hopefully, that next chapter oughtta be better than this one…" said Morris.

"Yeah, dat lazy authah!" ranted Racetrack.


	4. Surprises for Papa

'Lord, I hope this works' thought Weasel as he waited for the coach that would be carrying Mr. Delancy. At that moment, he heard the hobbling of hoof steps. Looks like Mr. Delancy has finally arrived. Weasel ran up to the door to help Mr. Delancy out, but a big fist rammed our roly-poly Weeze out of the way. It was him all right.

"Uh, greetings my beloved brother in law. How's the wife treating ya?" said Weasel, trying to suck up to papa Delancy. "Quit with the small talk while yer ahead Wisel!" bellowed Mr. Delancy as he headed for the door. "Now where are my boys?" Weasel then tried to block the door with his morbidly obese tummy, but ol' papa used his steroid-ish muscles to push through. "Aw c'mon, you don't want to see the kids just yet. How about I give you the tour?"

"Yer getting desperate, aren't ya? I WANT TO SEE MY..." began to shout Mr. Delancy before he muscled his way through to see Oscar and Morris GETTING ALONG with the NEWSIES. "Dad!" cried Oscar and Morris before they ran up to their father. "Boys," began Weasel. "This is Mr. Morris Delancy SR." 'Whoa, so that's where Morris got his name from' thought Jack. "Hiya Mr. Delancy. I'se Jack Kelly, leader of da Manhatten newsies." He said. David immediately stepped next. "And I'm David Jacobs, I'm Jack's selling partner." Soon, every newsie began to introduce themselves. 'Yes, this is working great!' Weasel thought to himself, 'I hope this keeps up.'

The visit continued to go virtually flawless.

The dinner proceeded better than at rehearsal, the kids didn't make a mess, Pie Eater wasn't a little piggy, and Oscar used his napkin. After dinner, everyone was at the table talking about their lives. "So ya see dad, Jack has some kind of urge to go to some place in New Mexico" told Oscar to his dad. "Say, what was dat place again?" "Santa Fe" Jack replied. "Yeah, but de old cowboy would never leave here. Cuz if he did, he'd be leaving his family, friends, and his true love" added Morris. "Ya sher got dat right" said Jack. "Who's his true love?" asked Mr. Delancy. "Why it's Davey of course!" said Morris, who wasn't exactly aware of the consequences of what he just said.

"Whadddya just say?" asked a slightly pissed Jack. Then Oscar began to act up as well. "Wait bro, Jack isn't Davey's love. Dat Denton guy is!" David began to hit the roof when he heard that. "AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH! I've had enough of that (bleep) lie! Every (bleep) intelligent "Newsies" fan (bleep) knows that Denton and I are not a (bleep) item! (Bleep) it!" Everyone looked at David with saucer-wide eyes. "Whoa, did I just say all that?" asked David ruefully. 'Oh no, this can't be happening...' thought Weasel.

Unfortunately, this WAS happening. Everyone began to fight and argue with the Delancys. Mr. Delancy turned to Weasel. "Wisel, an explanation please."

Weasel had no choice but to confess. "Ok ok, this whole peaceful experience was all a big lie!" Weasel began to cry out. "Your sons aren't friends with the Newsies, they fight with each other all the time! I tried to make them look like friends so you would be impressed. I guess I was wrong, so why don't you bust me while you have the chance."

Weeze stood still at that point, expecting a hard punch. Nothing. "What's keeping ya?" asked Weasel. "If you're expecting a punch, you're thinking wrong" said Mr. Delancy. "What?" "Well, this isn't exactly the environment I was expecting, but I'm glad to see that my boys get their exercise." "You mean... you're not mad?"

"Nah, after seeing my boys fight like this, they'll probably follow in my footsteps and be a professional wrestler just like me! Thank you Wisel, looks like yer not as dumb as I thought ya were." Then Mr. Delancy went up to put on his coat. "Well everyone, I'm off. Seeya boys." A slightly confused Oscar and Morris went up to give their father a hug, and then papa was out the door. Weasel just stood there, he was the most confused of every confused character here.

Then Jack said "Yep, I was right. Dis was indeed one messed up fanfic." Then Les went up to Jack and asked "Does this mean the story is over and we can all pretend none of this ever happened?" "Yeah, let's go." At that moment, everyone walked off into the ruins of what was once the dining room.  
THE END

This story is dedicated to the 10th anniversary of Dominic Lucero's death. 1994-2004


End file.
